I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
