I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
