jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
