I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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