...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
