Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
