then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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