Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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