1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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