There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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