I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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