Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
