I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
