Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
