Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
third nipple confirmed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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