left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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