Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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