Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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