Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
