btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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