I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
