Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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