i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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