ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
