He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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