last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
