our cab driver is having phone sex.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
