I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
