I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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