My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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