I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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