if i can run in heels then i can drive
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
