You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
