My underwear smells like fireworks.
worst night to have a conscience
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So vagazzling was a success
You did what with his pubic hair?
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