Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
