Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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