My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize