i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
