WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
