it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize