she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When are your genitals available?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
