why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
