Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
