the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My pussy is not your playground.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
