I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
