He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
