so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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