The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize