How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
