If i could tip my vagina, i would.
handjob tips. give me some.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize