Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
