How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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