used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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