watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
