You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
