last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
