Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ok first of all what the fuck
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
