He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
