Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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