What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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