she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
