I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
