apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
