she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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