Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Are we still banned from the library?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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