i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
