No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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