I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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