Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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