if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
