my vag is so smooth its legendary
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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