Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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